duped

I was duped a few days ago. I went onto a web site looking to make some lesbian pen pals from other countries. My partner goes to sleep pretty early. My heart was bleeding reading about this poor woman 55-ish from a midwest red state who was struggling with her sexuality and religious beliefs. I reached out to her because I know that I still have traces of the catholic guilt I grew up with. At 30 years old. When I haven't been to church on a regular basis for the better part of 15 years.

However, I digress..."Diane Blaine" ...poor tortured Christian Lezzie....She wrote me back. Her exact words were something like "Do you believe you chose to be gay?" " How do you think God feels about your homosexuality?" I had such a bad feeling in my gut about her but my wanting to be a good person won out. I answered her questions as best I could. I told her that I was born a lesbian, that God must love me...why else would I exist?
I have not thought much about God or religion to be honest, for many years to say the least. I truly believe that I am living the life I was destined to live and if I am wrong I will have to deal with those consequences later. I don't think I am though.
Back to "Diane Blaine".
I received a response from her a day later. I have to admit I was surprised to see 2 emails from her, but I thought maybe she was enthusiastic to connect with someone who had compassion for her situation and was coming from a position of acceptance and caring. Nothing could have prepared me for the emails I actually received.

"Diane Blaine" addressed me not by my name but as DDD...which I later figured out means double-dong dyke! I don't even have one of those, I am really not that coordinated, the dyke part I will admit to. Although I am definitely much more femme. But, whatever. I was condemned to hell in the email, told that "I will burn for all eternity. I am what is wrong with America. I am worse than the terrorists who took down our precious towers here in NY". That's the one that really got me upset.
The ranting went on for several paragraphs. I was amazed with her wealth of knowledge on the practices of lesbian sex. She told me " maybe your priest will think it's OK to eat you partner's pussy on Fridays!" And much more explicit things I will not repeat. I thought it was so amazing that someone who was so righteous, ha ha would know how lesbians even had sex.
Hmmmm, who exactly are we kidding here?

Needless to say I was deeply saddened by this turn of events. I could not shake the deep sadness I felt the entire evening. My partner could not even shake it off of me. When you put yourself out there and are rejected so brutally even at such a distance as the WWW it really rocks you. That was the first time I had truly faced homophobia of that type up close and personal. And I cannot say it didn't affect me, even with New York City tough exterior...it hurt.

My response was equally brutal...I am an Aries ram after all. I will head butt you with my opinions until you surrender!!!
After a few choice words I simply told her self-righteous faux-pious ass this:


Ultimately when judgement day comes do you think God will judge me for loving or judge you for hating?